on yesterday

no news, are good news. here are mine:

wherefore were i departed ? so read about what political beauty means to me and what i heard of, is important when visiting international gatherings. secondly nothing is more important than the verbal and serious exchange of thoughts and other (e.g. tear-) drops.

while soldering this hip paint interface to solve problems on the back of a tree in india, preparing wearable usb devices with my favourite software package, not sketching a graffiti wall and having packed 20 golf balls in my bag, i forgot the most important thing, three clubs while heading to tegel airport. playing golf for peace is one of the more decent messages i usually carry with me, no matter where i go i will always be the natural born golfer, for me and all others and i never tried to hide it. at this time i just thought about all the diplomats and highly officials who are shaping the world we live in, on the golf course. i wanted to let everyone know, let people play golf for peace. now i know even more how right i would have been putting the more for me important things on my todo list when preparing my days in india. getting to know other people through taking time off, talking and playing cross golf around our camp, just nice. albert einstein once said: “peace cannot be reached by force, only through people`s understanding” and i am still likely to believe in this. golf taught me humbleness as well as to find beautiness in every tiny nude or piece on earth, it couldn`t turn me into a hippie though, probably cause for me change is the only constant of mine.

after 18 years of fuckin prejudices against all people who park with big cars (e.g. at the front of a golf club house) i held it for myself high to have never licked any boots of capitalistic bastards, while (at most inconsciously) knowing of erich fromm who said: “there is no right living in the wrong” but ignoring this and being fine with just disrespecting people cause of their amount of money (more the amount of people they have banged for their own profit into all kind of holes) told me something about my own fuckin prejudices. the same prejudices told me to not cooperate with big companies, learning and shaping my own success, just to startup something. now i think that all these principles and moral claims have made not much positive change for me at all and i am likely to believe that there is really no right in the wrong but what else remains to do then ?? i mean what`s left when you even rob the very last sense out of being, which is the importance of knowing how to change, which hopefully everyone knows lies in the very tiniest decision of each single one of us ??? i hope you just get it.

nowadays i try and get along with thinking more about how to fuck my principles cause i feel disappointed and this gives me some freedom back, also i think that`s the right thing to do know. another freedom which is nice to have while being alive right here is just to take care and enjoy all the small things, acting cool without being cool for example, this enables me a bit of my very personal fun while enjoying all these soo damn obviously superficial moments which solely get their power out of the “truth of the circumstances”…

for all the things that have been and that are, i cannot do and want to do much against them, i like to feel all that destructive and at the same time creative, constructive energy out of the artificial, mainstream education i just love it, while at the same time knowing to never ever be able to really take part in it cause i am damned to think out of a hole until people change. i hardly know other people who tried to think themselves into this kind of deep hole, at least no one every said something to me which could cope with the whole ground of the hole. just to mention some of the writings who i could relate with this ground have been from stanislave jerzey lec which helped me a lot, schnurre`s and bernstein`s verses too, kaestner a bit, droste, hesse, lao tse, tucholsky along with some articles and listening to perfomances of helge, otto and even 23year old mike krueger were mixed up with more recently poems of benjamin zephania, really. what remains to say, you know is, read more books, it really does help. therefore i am also very happy to be able riding with the libraries-bus in the next week, reading and telling poems to children in one of the calmest and dirtiest parts of my hometown berlin.

i know to become a decent poet myself i have to read and read and read for the rest of my life, but some things are just inevitable and isn`t it just an awesome story.. as i was in graz recently, i even heard that one person on this planet is thinking that “i am the best story-teller / writer ever” and i was so thankful for these flowers, even more motivation to read even more books…

anyway, that`s it, sorry for not publishing that much lately, i was and still am confused about what message may have been published or spreaded without my knowledge but decided to ignore this confusing fact and go on slow and looking, into each pair of eyes from every single one i meet, following a contract i made just with myself and tryin to take all the possibilities i get to continue spreading positive energy, with games for a better message amongst all the people around the world, while trying to aggregate all the happy sadness i can carry to face up complexity of everyday and with it, all it`s possibilites. just so much more to say: there`s no one i`ll forget and i get my power out of nothing to raise my hands up in the air and say: that`s how it is !

i want to undress this mess, when do you have time for the oppressed ?

big up for everyone who shows respect to the one who love, i was damn lucky that i could see all the faces i already do love at least once again… (during the last year) !! And when i now listen to nick cave with the one i love, i am likely to think, what the fuck does this guy do know at all ?? but then i am starting to think again, sometimes you have to fuck your own principles and just eat it.